It's been a week, 7 whole days since his passing.
I wrote this chapter in bits and pieces throughout the whole of last week and I thought I ought to jot down my thoughts and put them together so that I can always have something to remember him by. I won't delve into the man he was before I knew him but focus on the man I grew up with till his very last day.
As a kid I dreaded of 'the day' that everyone has to go through. I'd always ask my Mom what happens to a person when they pass on and she'll tell me that they'll be gone from this world that we live in forever. Next, I'd ask if the same would happen to Ah Kong (Grandfather) and Ah Ma (Grandmother) one day? She'll keep quiet but I'd already known the answer and just cry myself to sleep. Call me silly but that was how much I loved my Grandparents.
As a man with a heart of gold, he always chose to see the good in people even when everyone around him said they weren't. He'd make friends with strangers from just about anywhere and trust them so easily. I could never understand why but I guess it was just him being chatty. He'd have some random conversation on just about anything and you'll find that hours have passed since they started. He'd always be the friendly one and the representative of the family to approach others as my Ah Ma and Mom would normally avoid small talks. However, it was because of almost all our neighbours knew him as Uncle Khoo cause of his casual conversations he had with them in the lift or during his walks around the neighbourhood.
Ah Kong was a tough man to love, I won't lie but he had one of the purest hearts and wanted nothing but the best for his own family. He rarely showed his softer sides but when he did you'd know for sure. As a true man who dedicated himself to bringing up his family and making sure he'd give them the most comfortable life possible, he kept his end of the bargain. Although there were times that I was being a difficult child, he'll still try to give in no matter how ridiculous my demands were. For example, we would always bicker on what channel to watch, I'd always want to watch my cartoons on Disney while he'll always want to watch his WWE wrestling match or catch up on the news. I still remember there was this one night that I kept asking to see my baby photos but they were stored in some box in the corner and it was too hard to get. I remember I kept whining to see them or I wouldn't sleep that night and the whole house ended up in a complete mess just to get those baby photos just to stop my whining. He'd also loved to spoil me by bringing me to McDonald's as kid and order my favourite burger. Since I was a difficult child, I was also picky with my food too. I would always ask for the mayonnaise and veggie to be removed (That's how picky I was back then). He would always order for a special order and if he forgot, he'll physically remove them and place it on a tissue. It was little thoughtful acts like this and many more that still make me feel even more heart broken. Besides my family, I doubt there'll ever be anyone who could love me more than they could.
As an adopted child, it didn't hit me till I was praying during the wake that the most important lesson my Ah Kong taught me was the ability to love someone unconditionally. He was able to treat someone who wasn't even related to him by blood and loved and accepted me as his grandson. As tough as he may seem on the outside, this is something that I'll never forget. I used to always question myself, how could anyone ever love me and just a few months back I was asking myself how could I understand something that I never had but the truth is, I already did. I guess in life, we get thrown a curveball to realise the things that really matter to us.
I'm glad that I got the chance to be there with him during his final moments. At least I got to say my last words to him which was really hard for me cause I knew it'd hurt me even more if I did but I knew I would have regretted if I didn't.
It's been a week and now that all has been said and done, what does this mean for me? It means I'm left with one less family member who I truly ever loved and loved me back. But I know he's watching us from above and hoping that we live a life as fulfilling as his.
May you rest in peace, to the most important man in my life, Ah Kong. Love you.
I wrote this chapter in bits and pieces throughout the whole of last week and I thought I ought to jot down my thoughts and put them together so that I can always have something to remember him by. I won't delve into the man he was before I knew him but focus on the man I grew up with till his very last day.
As a kid I dreaded of 'the day' that everyone has to go through. I'd always ask my Mom what happens to a person when they pass on and she'll tell me that they'll be gone from this world that we live in forever. Next, I'd ask if the same would happen to Ah Kong (Grandfather) and Ah Ma (Grandmother) one day? She'll keep quiet but I'd already known the answer and just cry myself to sleep. Call me silly but that was how much I loved my Grandparents.
As a man with a heart of gold, he always chose to see the good in people even when everyone around him said they weren't. He'd make friends with strangers from just about anywhere and trust them so easily. I could never understand why but I guess it was just him being chatty. He'd have some random conversation on just about anything and you'll find that hours have passed since they started. He'd always be the friendly one and the representative of the family to approach others as my Ah Ma and Mom would normally avoid small talks. However, it was because of almost all our neighbours knew him as Uncle Khoo cause of his casual conversations he had with them in the lift or during his walks around the neighbourhood.
Ah Kong was a tough man to love, I won't lie but he had one of the purest hearts and wanted nothing but the best for his own family. He rarely showed his softer sides but when he did you'd know for sure. As a true man who dedicated himself to bringing up his family and making sure he'd give them the most comfortable life possible, he kept his end of the bargain. Although there were times that I was being a difficult child, he'll still try to give in no matter how ridiculous my demands were. For example, we would always bicker on what channel to watch, I'd always want to watch my cartoons on Disney while he'll always want to watch his WWE wrestling match or catch up on the news. I still remember there was this one night that I kept asking to see my baby photos but they were stored in some box in the corner and it was too hard to get. I remember I kept whining to see them or I wouldn't sleep that night and the whole house ended up in a complete mess just to get those baby photos just to stop my whining. He'd also loved to spoil me by bringing me to McDonald's as kid and order my favourite burger. Since I was a difficult child, I was also picky with my food too. I would always ask for the mayonnaise and veggie to be removed (That's how picky I was back then). He would always order for a special order and if he forgot, he'll physically remove them and place it on a tissue. It was little thoughtful acts like this and many more that still make me feel even more heart broken. Besides my family, I doubt there'll ever be anyone who could love me more than they could.
As an adopted child, it didn't hit me till I was praying during the wake that the most important lesson my Ah Kong taught me was the ability to love someone unconditionally. He was able to treat someone who wasn't even related to him by blood and loved and accepted me as his grandson. As tough as he may seem on the outside, this is something that I'll never forget. I used to always question myself, how could anyone ever love me and just a few months back I was asking myself how could I understand something that I never had but the truth is, I already did. I guess in life, we get thrown a curveball to realise the things that really matter to us.
I'm glad that I got the chance to be there with him during his final moments. At least I got to say my last words to him which was really hard for me cause I knew it'd hurt me even more if I did but I knew I would have regretted if I didn't.
It's been a week and now that all has been said and done, what does this mean for me? It means I'm left with one less family member who I truly ever loved and loved me back. But I know he's watching us from above and hoping that we live a life as fulfilling as his.
May you rest in peace, to the most important man in my life, Ah Kong. Love you.
